Comments on: Are You Petrified?

By: Mogging

Mogging — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:36:15 +0000

The biggest step I’ve ever taken in my journey with arthritis is letting go of fear. Thank you, because I’ve been perusing your blog… it’s late at night here in New Zealand, but I gave in to going home for a “little” sleep at lunchtime today, suddenly it was 4.30 and I’d slept right through an appointment (needless to say having something to do now when I should be going to bed is great.

I’m just a few months out of a 9 month tussle with depression, with hindsight I’m surprised I lasted so long without it…had an inflammatory prob since I was 16 I’m now 29. I strongly believe that for me it was chemically triggered, with a big dose of prednisone. A large part of what I have worked through since then is getting past the fear, of not doing what I’m told with medication, of the future and the day to day. I’ve always had a positive attitude about what’s happened to me, that it made me a better person (“superpowers” I love your description). But it’s one thing putting on a brave front for family/friends/workmates and another feeling it yourself.

Knowing there are others out there who “get it” has been so important to me. My husband is fantastic, I have some very very kind friends, I have a supportive family. But at the end of the day they will never (thankfully) understand it from my point of view.

Support networks seem to be expanding lately, at least in NZ… I’ve found a really cool group of young ish people living with arthritis, we meet up for coffee. I am amazed I went so long without it and that it’s not the first thing suggested and facilitated by doctors (perhaps they see it as a little threat, the old information sharing – or more likely it just doesn’t occur to them).

Anyway, this ended up much longer than I intended! Suffice to say that at the hardest time in my life I am able to feel the most supported and empowered. Thanks for your part in this.

Kia Kaha (means stay strong, in Maori)
Arohanui (big love)

By: Robin

Robin — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 16:08:24 +0000

wow, i know exactly how that feels, i was actually just telling my sister the other day how the pain instills a fear in me like it could consume me. it is such a strange feeling to explain, but i think we all know what it’s like.

By: Cathy

Cathy — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:40:53 +0000

Oh, I know that feeling. Your post, as always, hit the nail right on the head. I’ve been doing really, really well for all of July, and anytime there’s a little twinge, I am hit with fear that this is the end of this good patch. And as much as I try to remind myself that this is the nature of RA, I can’t seem to stop myself from leaping to thoughts of “maybe I’m going to be fine now” whenever I have a good patch, which just makes the flares harder to take when they return…

I hope you’ll get through this rough time quickly, and get back to feeling great!

By: RA Guy

RA Guy — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:38:46 +0000

I think my lesson learned here is that no matter how prepared I think I might be, and how much I think I might have accepted my chronic illness, there is always going to be some amount of fear. The important thing, as JG says, it to not get stuck behind that fear; to bring it out of the dark and into the light.

I am feeling much better at the moment, and if my afternoon brings some pain, I will just go back to doing what has helped me get through such moments in the past.

Thanks everyone for your words and thoughts.

By: JG

JG — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:29:41 +0000

Thank you for talking about this. I think people that do not suffer from chronic illness might think the process of acceptance of your illness includes no longer being afraid of it. I’m afraid every day. It’s not just the mortality I fear, it’s what LIVING will be like; what will I miss because I can’t get out of bed? What if this treatment or that medicine doesn’t work? What if I completely lose my mind? And in addition to the actually possible my imagination runs wild: What if there is a tidal wave and I can’t climb onto my roof as fast as everyone else?

Thanks for such an important post over something we try to pretend is trivial. Fear grows in the dark and withers in the light. Keeping it out in the open and talking about it is the best way to frighten it right back.