You write that by choosing to write my blog, I am making my rheumatoid arthritis central to my life and to my identity. You also go on to suggest that I dwell on every aspect and nuance of my illness.

I could not disagree with you more.

Writing this blog has been one of THE key components of my recovery over the past few months. When I talk about the challenges I encounter with my disease – either here on my blog or while sitting on a chair in my psychologist’s office – I am processing and working through my emotions. I am not getting stuck. In fact, quite the opposite is happening – I am moving forward.

Rheumatoid arthritis IS a part of my life and my identity, whether I like it or not. For me, it is not a question of how often I do or do not choose to talk about it. What I consider to be important is HOW I choose to talk about it.

I have been encouraged by private messages that I continue to receive from other people living with rheumatoid arthritis, who tell me that they are helped by reading my blog. Other people tell me that they have suffered in silence for far too long, and that they are encouraged to hear those of us who share our stories publicly. People also thank me for doing my little part in helping to raising awareness of RA – in a manner that their family and friends can easily understand.

I encourage everyone who wants to share his or her experience of living with rheumatoid arthritis to do so. But at the same time, I understand that – as individuals – we each have our way of coping with all of the ups and downs that are a part of life.

Thank you for your continued readership, for your messages on DailyStrength, and for your private emails!

I look at pictures of me at 30 and 40 and then look in the mirror and wonder where I went! The only thing I say about RA in all this is that it perhaps ages us a bit faster, but all people experience these feelings and yes, the serenity prayer is key. So too is always looking forward because we can never go back!

I also have to say that just the fact that you chose to blog about the whole issue of RA makes it central to your life and your identity, and keeps you focused on the disease and every aspect of nuance of it. I’d prefer not to pay it that much attention or give it that much power.

I am who am. I am a mother, a grandmother, an author and an activist. I have friends. Was married for 18 years and have had lovers before and since. I live life. I am not RA and RA is not me.

I am kept in sharp focus by the fact that at this point in time and at this time of my life – everyone around me young and old – has some kind of autoimmune disease, or other ailment or issue or struggle. …You can either chose to let it identify you or not.

Hope you’re not in too much pain today. Keep well.

Dalai Lama’s words give me comfort, but I simply have room left for the pain.