Rebeca Fleming

Rebecca Fleming

RA Guy Real Profiles of RA 20 Comments

A few weeks ago, Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy wrote an Open Letter To Arthritis Today, in which he asked the editor of that publication to please increase the visibility of men living with rheumatoid arthritis.

A lot of comments were received in response to the above post, both here on my blog and in a discussion thread at RA Connect. In addition to the issue of gender representation, readers also raised concerns about the accuracy of overall depictions of people living with rheumatoid arthritis. Quite often, the reality of our lives includes mobility aids, visible deformities, physical challenges, and emotional challenges – and these are often not reflected in the words and images that we find in different forms of media.

Just as I believe that each one of us has the power to raise awareness of this disease with which we live, I also believe that each one of us also has to power to contribute towards creating this accurate depiction of people living with rheumatoid arthritis, that has been missing up until now.

So today, I would like to present the first of a regular series here on my blog: Real Profiles of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Rebecca Fleming has generously offered to work with me in creating this inaugural profile. I look forward to profiling many more people in the future!

Real Profiles of Rheumatoid Arthritis
Photos © Rebecca Fleming

Rebecca Fleming



Los Angeles, California, United States

How long have you lived with RA?

30 years this October.

What advice would you give to someone who has just been diagnosed with RA?

Start treatment right away. In order to slow down the progression of the disease and to protect your joints from as much damage as possible, get on a TNF inhibitor or a DMARD right away.

When I was finally diagnosed in 1980, my treatment was six Bufferin a day. By 1984, my treatment was 1,600mg of ibuprofen per day. I was not put on a DMARD until 10 years into my disease. By then, a great deal of irreversible damage had already been done.

I would also advise newly diagnosed patients to become as knowledgeable as possible. Read books, do research, go to trustworthy websites (such as the Johns Hopkins Arthritis Center or the AF) and educate yourself on RA. Educate yourself on medications and their side effects. When your doctor orders bloodwork for a CBC or a sed rate, ask him/her what that means and why they’re doing it. No matter how good your rheumatologist is or how supportive your family is, this disease is your’s. It’s happening to your body and you must work to protect it.

Something else I would suggest – let go of perfectionism. Because of our disease, we are limited. I can’t workout at the gym 5 days a week. I can’t vacuum my house and scrub the shower like I want to. I can’t chop and slice and dice food to make a fabulous dinner for guests. Therefore, I don’t have the body I’d like to have, my house is never as clean as I’d like it to be, and if I have people over, they have to eat store bought hors d’ouvres rather than something homemade. And I have to let it go. Easier said than done. After three decades, I’m still struggling with this one!

Finally, I would also suggest rest. Rest is underrated. Rest is a low priority for most people. I actually schedule my resting. If I have plans for Monday and Tuesday, I make sure to block out Wednesday as a rest day. If I don’t, I will pay the price later on and wind up in bed for four days instead of just one.

I understand that people have to work or have children to care for, so it’s hard to schedule time to rest. But often times we don’t schedule rest days because we don’t want to miss out on an activity or have “things to do”. After 30 years of living with RA, I’ve learned that if I don’t schedule a rest day, my body will do it for me and it won’t be pleasant!

Do you use any mobility aids?


How has living with RA helped to improve your life?

It has made me a much more compassionate person. I care about others and have spent my entire adult life working and volunteering to help others. Without RA, I think I would have been a very self-centered person who placed value on all the wrong things. Picture Alicia Silverstone in Clueless. That’s who I think I would have been without RA! J

Having this disease has also made me thankful for what I already have. I can walk and see and hear. I have a caring family, a roof over my head, and food on the table. Those are things that should never be taken lightly or taken for granted, yet most people do. Thanks to RA, I’m not one of them.

Do you have any visible signs of RA?

My hands are pretty deformed from arthritis. My fingers are knobby and veer off in different directions. My hands look permanently swollen. They also have big scars running down them from the surgeries I’ve had to repair torn tendons due to RA. While my feet look pretty normal, some of my toes are deformed just like my fingers. Other than that, even after 30 years, the rest of me looks fairly “normal”.

Can you please describe some of your favorite coping strategies for living with RA?
Well, I have tried just about everything. A lot of the popular strategies (meditation, visualization, yoga, even prayer) have not worked for me for one reason or another. I’ve had years of therapy and that has helped tremendously. It gets expensive, but it’s worth every penny.

I suppose my favorite strategy is distraction. I try to focus on something other than my pain and disability. If I can get out of the house, I do. I socialize as much as possible. If I am alone, I’ll try to read a book or watch a movie. To have my mind think of things other than my RA is a great coping mechanism for me.

Can you please describe your current medical (traditional and alternative) treatments?

Currently on prednisone, but trying to taper off. I’m hoping to get off prednisone and return to Humira soon. Humira worked really well for me.

Is there anything else about yourself that you would like to share?

One thing people need to remember is that the stereotype of the arthritis victim – the old woman hunched over in a rocking chair – is a myth. I’ve had RA since I was 11. I’m still only 41 (they tell me that’s still considered young these days! J).

I like to have drinks with friends. I can’t leave the mall without at least buying a lipstick. I’m a rocker chick with a tattoo who worships the Rolling Stones (I’ve seen them 10 times in concert and will be airlifted in if necessary!). I’ve been married for 10 years to a man who makes me laugh hysterically and we have a little dog I rescued who is completely crazy and we adore her. And I have RA.

Comments 20

  1. Laurie

    Can’t you see this being a great coffee Table book?
    I’d be more than glad to help out with a project like this. Besides, I’d like to include some of our relatives, who did not have tge treatment options we have today. As a nurse i do health histories on a daily basis and I know there are so many folks who havw stories to tell.

  2. Jules

    Nice to “meet” you Rebecca! I love this series RA Guy- I think the most important message is in the very last line “And I have RA.” We are so much more than a disease and I love to see other celebrate that! Thank you both.

  3. MissDazey

    RA Guy: What a good idea, not only will we get aquainted, this will also help us all know we are not alone or that we have RA worst than others.

    Rebecca, thanks for sharing your story.

    Laurie: do you have a blog or website?

  4. Leslie

    Rebecca, thank you for sharing your story 🙂 You are a beautiful, strong woman! I think its awesome you still celebrate the great things in your life… Thanks again! Leslie

  5. Jackie Nelson

    I knew this story was coming, but still not emotionally prepared when I saw my beautiful little girl and read her comments. I am proud to say I am Rebecca’s mom…she is a remarkable young woman and a serious reminder that RA is not an old person’s disease.

  6. Terry

    RA Guy, awesome idea. I hope this stays a regular on your blog.

    Rebecca, thank you for sharing.

    Laurie, you’re right. I think this would make a great book.

  7. Peggy

    Becca and I have been friends for over 15 years and I have always been impressed with her strength, compassion and all around awesomeness. Through her I have learned a lot about RA and peoples misconceptions over the years. Love ya Becca great article!!! Peg

  8. Carolyn

    Wow, I’ve known you Reb for almost 15 years and your story still makes me laugh and cry. You are not just a great friend but an inspiration. Thank you for this aritcle and for the continued awareness on RA and for being you! This is fantastic.

  9. valentine K.

    Rebecca, thank you for sharing your story 🙂 You are a strong woman! I think its great you still celebrate the great things in your life…
    i got RA at 16 and i had never met anyone who got RA younger than i did…..i am pleased to meet you
    soldier on!

  10. BethM

    Wow, It’s so nice in (a sad) kinda way.. that someone else feels the way I do !
    I struggle with fatigue on a dialy basis. Especially since I have a two year old. I’ve tried to go without rest days and it NEVER is good. I get emotional along with being tired. Those are horrible days. I always feel like a bad mom on the days when we don’t do anything. So, Thank you. Thanks for the cheer up.
    Ps- I saw your hands, Poor girl ! I’m 27 and I was diagnosed when I was 8.

  11. nan

    Loved your upbeat attitude! I think that it is so important to staying mentally ahead of RA! All the best, Nan

  12. Legal user

    I have RA since I can remember. Always thought it was normal to have pain in the joints. Everyone thought I was a well behave kid because I never run around. I was finally diagnosed when I was 16. I was hospitalized for 3 months. Pumped full of aspirin, the only NSAID available for pediatric use. I am 59 now. Had tried everything there is. Had my hips and wrists replaced when I was 40. Humira lowered my immunity enough to cause cellulitis and systemic infection that put me on iv vancomycin, celhalosporin and clindamycin for a month. I have since then stay away from it. Prednisone and mtx seems to work well. But the side effects are pretty scary.
    I have learn to hide my pain pretty well after dealing with it all my life. Like how to lean on tables and chairs to get up without being noticed. Walking slowly as if you are just just not in a rush. Taking a break on you way to your car in the parking and act as if you were looking for your vehicle. Able to use different hand when the other is out of commission. I refused to let RA put me down. But is only so much you can deny and hide. Deep down I accepted it for what it is and try to work with it the best I can. Exercise when ever possible. Making a conscious effort to fight it when ever I can. My doctor and I work on pain management to facilitate my mobility. I know that opiate is not indicated for arthritic pain, but high doses during acute painful flair up enables me to keep moving. They say rest is need during inflammatory stage, but I find that continued motion helps me to avoid the stiffness that comes after immobilization for any length of time. Fifty some years had thought me how to deal with pain. Every once in a while I would breakdown and cry. But I always continue fighting, there is no other option. Suicide is illegal, and I don’t want to have a record.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *