I’ve never been a big fan of mainstream Hollywood movies. Sure, they often leave us feeling happy inside, win many awards, and earn a lot of money…but for me, personally, they are a little too predictable. Instead of spending my viewing time feeling intrigued and wondering what will happen next, I can normally be found marking off all the check boxes on my mental list titled “formulaic plots”.
Quite often, when I sit down to write my blog posts, I have in mind both “what I wish I could write” and “what I actually need to write”. I sometimes wish that all of my blog posts communicated news such as a decrease in pain, an increase in mobility, or a lessening of depression. I wish that I could talk about the latest tech gadget that I just purchased, especially after listening to all of the podcasts from the Consumer Electronics Show that took place in Las Vegas this past week. I wish I could write about how my medicines are providing complete and immediate relief, with (get this!) no side effects. And then, last but not least, I wish I could write about a rainbow spreading out across the sky as I walk (or jog? or run? actually, it would be limp) into the horizon, with lots of birds and animals dancing around me. (Okay, I better stop…things are getting a little too Disneyesque.)
But the fact of the matter is that my story is would be much more appropriate for an indie film than for a summer blockbuster. (I’ve stopped expecting that phone call from Marvel Comics!) The plot of my movie would be very unpredictable. Things would get worse…and worse…and worse…before they got better. There would not be the standard transition from problem to resolution to happy ending. At times, it might even seem like the film projector had been set on repeat.
“Full of twists and turns” critics would acclaim, as well as “gritty…but real!”
It would definitely be low (how low can you go?) budget! And whatever money there is, well that would be earmarked for health benefits, and not for the latest technological device…but I’d continue to learn to be more resourceful than ever. Over the past year two of my ultra-mobile laptops, including a MacBook Air, completely died on me. Two months ago I also lost my iPod Touch, leaving me only with a heavy-as-heck 17″ laptop computer that I purchased five years ago (and that it too heavy for me to carry on most days). But this laptop still works, and it allows me to do what I need to, including but not limited to writing this blog.
Parts of it would play like a lot of the pharmaceutical commercials that are oh-so-common in the United States…[snark alert!] full of promises, followed by a long list of all the possible side effects (which in a few rare cases have proven to be life-threatening…or so would say a soothing voice-over). A few members of the audience might call some parts of the movie “slow” — almost no action, and lots and lots of dialog. Sometimes the dialog might not always be too audible, but no need to check the speakers…it’s either the silence of pain and depression or the muffling caused by cries. True independent film aficionados, far from being bored, would be riveted.
And while there would not be your typical happy ending (and they lived happily ever after…), there still would be a happy ending. It may not be too obvious, but it will be there.
So my life on the big screen would not be typical, it would not be predictable, it would not be perfect, it would not be glossy and it would not be big budget. But it would be real. It would be interesting. It would be fascinating. It would be full of fun. It would be full of surprises.
Most importantly, in would be my life…and I’ll continue loving each and every second of it.
Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!