RA: My Own Little Space

Trained as an architect, I have always been a visual thinker…so it should come as no surprise that I often think of my illness in terms of space.

During the first few years in which I lived with rheumatoid arthritis, I hated the space that this disease declared was mine. First of all, it was much smaller than I was normally accustomed to. I didn’t like the colors on the walls, which seemed to change constantly. There was a lot of disorder, and the dust seemed to build up more quickly than I could sweep it away. It was not as bright as I would have always wanted it to be. And my list of things that I hated about this space could just go on and on.

But I’ve come to not only find comfort in this space that is increasingly defined by my disability, I’ve actually come to really like my little niche. It’s cozy. I like the erratic, unexpected constantly changing colors on the walls. Yes, it is often sometimes just a little (or more) gritty…but it’s real. There are little cracks in the wall that once seemed so massive, and the light is streaming in. I many not be able to run out into that place beyond the wall, but I can still enjoy the view.

While this little space may resemble many others that are out there, it’s my very own. I know the nooks and crannies, all the oddities and strange things…all the seemingly unexplainable. And in a weird sort of way, it’s actually sort of cool.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

More Rheumatoid Arthritis Blogs

Living With RA
My blog is a place for me to share my experiences with managing Rheumatoid Arthritis on a broad basis and how best to cope day to day with the realities of a progressive, chronic disease. Most importantly how to do it successfully and with a positive attitude.
Read More:

i am. not myself–Living with Rheumatoid Arthritis
I’m a 39 year old woman who just recently had to come to terms, yet again, with having rheumatoid arthritis. Although originally diagnosed some 25 years ago, I was blessed to have had 10 years with no symptoms whatsoever. That has now changed. Hopefully what we all will see with this blog is a woman change from being bitter about this resurgence to accepting and learning to cope and live a good life with rheumatoid. It can be done, of this I know. My biggest obstacle? Well, it’s mental. Some days i am. not myself.
Read More: http://iamnotmyselves.blogspot.com/

Negative Energy

NegativeOn many occasions during this past week, I experienced negative energy. No, I’m not referring to bad vibes or the opposite of positive thinking. What I mean is fatigue that was so strong, that my energy levels actually dipped down into the negative…sort of like the mercury, here in the southern hemisphere.

All of this was result of a nasty stomach bug that lasted a whopping five days. Never before have I been hit so strong by the stomach flu. And as if often the case whenever I get sick nowadays, my rheumatoid arthritis went absolutely haywire (or on a bender, as Charlie Sheen would say).

It’s funny, how during these episodes, I yearn to return to just having RA. Sure, living with rheumatoid arthritis is chaotic and unpredictable, but it’s amazing how familiar I am with those symptoms. Add anything new to the mix, and it can just seem a little bit…well…overwhelming at times. I had multiple breakdowns this past week, but I always managed to stay connected with my breath…and in a matter of fifteen minutes or so, usually returned to feeling just a little bit better.

I continue to grow used to not being able to move for certain periods of time, usually due to pain or inflammation. It was a new sensation, however, not being able to move because I didn’t even had absolutely no energy. Even the word fatigue didn’t seem like an appropriate descriptor of what I was feeling.

But it’s Friday afternoon, and I’m finally back to my “normal” self. I am once again, dealing with just RA…and for what I know probably won’t last a long time,  it feels like a great thing.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!