As you know, I’ve been following your blog for a while (almost since I was first diagnosed more than 2 years ago). You seem to have made such great progress in your life, and although the disease hasn’t seemed to relent, you’ve seemed to fill your life back up with good things and a great outlook. I’ve been very pleased to watch this transformation.

My email inbox is also full of similar messages. (If I have not responded to your email, please know that I do read each and every email that is sent to me, and eventually I do get around to replying to each one personally.) About a week ago, I received the following message:

I just wanted to say thank you for having your website. I have felt sooooooo lonely since I started going through my first RA flare. I have been crying so much because I don’t know how to get anyone to understand this and now I see that I am not alone. There are many others who are my age and younger going through what I’m going through and it helps to know that it’s not just me. So thank you, you’ve helped me find some hope!

I can’t say how much these two messages, and the many other similar ones that I have received over the past year and a half, have helped me. Anyone who lives with an illness like Rheumatoid Arthritis knows why it is called “chronic” – it just never goes away, no matter how much we might want it to.

So I am in no way trying to undermine the importance of the 99% of the messages that I receive that are optimistic and supportive, but I find myself in a situation where I need to respond to the other 1% of the messages that I receive. I try to ignore them and move on, but the truth of the matter is that they do bother me.

What type of messages are these that I receive, you might be asking? They are messages that tell me that I have no idea what it is like to live with “real” pain and “real” rheumatoid arthritis. Some of them even refer to my rheumatoid arthritis as a “claim”. (As if all along I’ve been making this up?) Or even worse yet, the classic “your RA is not as bad as my RA”.

So I have a confession to make. Yes, I really do live with rheumatoid arthritis…and no, I have not always been the optimist that I am at the moment. For all too long, the dark shadow of my chronic illness and pain hung over my head, and pushed me further and further down. I have reached lows in my life that I would never ever want any other person to ever have to experience. I thought that I would never be able to leave this place, no matter how many outpourings of support and helpful hands that were offered by people around me.

But I proved myself wrong. My optimism does not mean that I no longer live with what can be at times unbearable pain…it just means that I have figured out how to get through it. Sometimes getting through it means giving in, being angry, being sad, and wondering what the hell it means to live a life like this, day after day. My secret is that I allow myself to experience these emotions without getting stuck in this place. Even if I don’t know why, I just continue to be positive and try to focus on the good. Trust me, it works.

I once again find myself coming back to one of these dark spots. Just today, my rheumatoid arthritis grabbed on hard…and no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake free from it. I didn’t really get moving until around 5 pm (yes, that’s pm!) in the afternoon. During the afternoon, I didn’t even have the energy to change the music on my iPod. (Luckily, I was listening to music that I hadn’t listened to in a long time.)

Do I love days like today? Honestly, I don’t. But my evening has been okay. I even went to the grocery store a few hours later to do some shopping. And I am grateful that today was a holiday (Day of the Dead), so my obligatory day in bed did not have any effect on my work commitments.

So I’m not always happy, cheerful, and in a good mood. But when I’m not, I constantly try to remind myself what it means to be happy, cheerful, and in a good mood…and this counts for a lot.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

Preparing each one of these courses required quite a bit of work. Not only did I have to come up with a completely new syllabus (I teach my classes in English, and all of these classes were previously taught in Spanish), but I also had to find the appropriate reading materials and then do the usual tasks of preparing lectures, writing exams, reviewing projects, and calculating grades.

What struck me most about this experience was how much I had to learn – and relearn. Sure, I was familiar with many of the subjects, and have quite a bit of professional experience in the areas in which I teach, but knowing something and teaching something can, at times, be further apart that I could have previously imagined.

And thinking about this philosophically, we never really get to completely know all there is to know about something. We just continue to learn more about it, over and over, with each instance adding more insight or raising more questions that had not been considered before.

Which brings me to my rheumatoid arthritis. I get amazed sometimes. I feel like I continue to get to know my illness better and better – which I do. But at the same time, it feels like each new flare and each new symptom is a completely new experience, unlike any previous one – which it is.

And talk about relearning!

I have to once again learn to cope with my hair falling out. (At the moment I’m cool with my shaved head, but a week ago seeing my hair everywhere was driving me nuts.)

I have to once again learn about the importance of taking constant breaks and giving my body time to rest during the day and during the week, especially after my marathon work schedule earlier this month.

I have to continue to learn how to look at my hands during times of distress, when they are pulled way out of shape due to extreme inflammation. (Most recently, this past Friday evening. I just sat there and stared, even though it was quite difficult for the reality of my physical situation to actually register in my mind.)

And I have to continue to learn to pick myself back up time after time, after if feels like someone (the troll under my bed) came out and whacked my entire body with a sledgehammer while I was sleeping. (This afternoon. But I’ve learned that just as quickly as things worsen, they also get better. Two hours later was able to do yoga without a problem.)

Most importantly, I’m learning that when it comes to rheumatoid arthritis, the learning never ends.

And I’m okay with this.

(Oh – in two days I am starting a new class. For the first time this year, I will be teaching a course that I have previously taught. The syllabus is ready. The reading materials have been chosen. The tests are written. I have no doubt, however, that there will still be much that I have to relearn.)

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy.

My initial reaction was one of minor annoyance. “Here we go again…” I just brushed the hair away from my note paper, and continued on with my lesson.

Over the next few days, while I wasn’t necessarily denying that my hair was falling out, I wasn’t necessarily paying too much attention to it either. I was just moving on with my busy schedule. My biggest concern, at the time, was squeezing in some time for a haircut. As soon as the first opportunity arose, I went to my hairdresser and asked for my usual cut. On second thought, make it a little shorter than usual, I said.

I walked out of there a happy camper. Excellent, I thought. With my short hair, my hair loss is going to be so much less noticeable.

I was wrong.

Over the past week, I could see my (short) hair everywhere. In the bathtub. In the sink. On my clothes. On my laptop’s keyboard. On the table. On my papers. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about massive quantities…but definitely enough to notice.

And the more I saw my hair falling out, the more it bothered me. My feelings of minor annoyance started turning into major annoyance. I tried putting a brave face on the situation. I’ve been through this before, after all, so what’s the big deal about going through it again?

Apparently, it’s a bigger deal than I’ve allowed myself to accept up until now.

So today, with a little encouragement from my partner and my sister, I once again returned to my hairdresser. This time, I asked for everything to be shaven off.

(Many times during my adult life I have shaved my head by choice, and have always received compliments from friends and strangers alike…so I couldn’t really understand my reluctance over the past few days of getting my head shaved once again. I guess it comes down to the fact that in those cases my hair style – or lack thereof – was voluntary. This time, I didn’t seem to have much say in the manner.)

So, Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy is a little more aerodynamic at the moment. This evening, when I was out, I felt a gentle breeze brush over my bald head. It actually felt sort of nice. I think I’ll be okay with this (lack of) hair thing. Am I still annoyed? A little…but at least I won’t have to deal with constant reminders of my falling hair.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

While I would definitely not attempt to maintain this schedule over an extended period of time, there is a little bit of pride (I’m not sure if this is the exact word that I am looking for) that emerges when I look back over the past near-month, and realize that I was able to pull off all of these commitments without any noticeable increase in my RA symptoms.

I was originally scheduled to teach one class this current term. A week before, I received a call asking me if I would take on a second class. A few days before, I received another call asking me if I would be willing to have a third class. And then, on the same day that my three new classes started, I also started doing some GMAT tutoring in the evening with a private student. (When I committed to this last request, I had wrongly assumed that they were looking for only one hour a day…it ended up being that they were looking for three hours a day!)

Through this busy rush, when one day blended into the following, it was interesting to note that some of the techniques that I have developed to deal with rheumatoid arthritis flares were quite effective in managing my time and energy, most importantly focusing on the moment (and not worrying about all of the commitments I had in the rest of the day or the rest of the week) and practicing mindfulness meditation. While sometimes I had “just” 10 minutes between one class and another to sit down and rest my mind and body, I turned those “just” 10 minutes into a more-than-sufficient relaxation period.

And even though my commitments have reduced somewhat over the past few days, they will continue to remain a little higher than usual over the next two weeks. It’s nice to know, that even with my arthritic body, I continue to be able to do more than I ever thought possible while – most importantly – I continue to take care of my mind and body.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

And last week, I covered for another professor who was out. Four hours for my class, followed by four hours for her class. Needless to say, at the end of the day my feet were not happy campers.

But I made it through the week. On a couple of evenings, I even made it to the gym.

This timing of returning to a busy schedule was quite nice in a way, because it prevented me from dwelling on the news that I recently received regarding my elevated liver enzymes. Sure, I had the whirlwind of different emotions in the days following, but then I’ve resolved to continue to do the best that I can to take care of myself.

And while I’ve had a few aches and pains here and there (isn’t it wonderful to be able to refer to rheumatoid arthritis in the way?), particularly in my hands and feet, the day after tomorrow will be exactly one month since my last full blown flare/extremely painful episode. My crutches and my canes have also been resting in the corner next to the entrance door since the beginning of June.

However long this lasts, I do not know. What I do know is that I will continue to make to most of every new day, no matter what level my pain might be at.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

What used to be the present was now the past, and day by day “my life” became more and more distant. At a certain point, it became “my old life”. (Otherwise known as “my life before rheumatoid arthritis”.)

This was replaced by “my new life”. And what was “my new life”, you might ask? It was a world full of pain, disability, and depression. (This was definitely a case where newer did not mean better.) The more I struggled with my rheumatoid arthritis, the more my limitations seemed to grow and the less happy I became. It was a life in which my disease controlled everything. I was merely going along for the very unpleasant journey.

There was a solution, though — or so I thought. “If only I could do what I used to be able to do.” Then, everything would be better.

After a few years of constantly repeating the previous thought, I realized that something was not working. So, I came up with what I thought was a surefire solution: “I will go back to doing what I used to enjoy doing, as soon as my pain goes away.” (If you’ve already recognized the mistake in this sentence, give yourself an extra point!)

And after a few years of repeating version 2.0 of my mantra, I realized something new: the pain wasn’t going away. Like it or not, it was here to stay.

And I was suddenly confronted with an important decision. I could continue yearning for the life that I used to have…or, I could actually work on bringing it back. Sure, it wasn’t going to be exactly the same, as I would have to make some slight modifications here and there, but in its own certain way it would be new-and-improved.

I don’t remember precisely when, but sometime in the past two or three weeks I thought to myself “I have my life back”. As I had predicted, it’s not exactly my old life. It’s even better, though. It’s everything that I used to enjoy doing, combined with the new sense of self that has matured to include all aspects of my current life — even the rheumatoid arthritis.

It’s a world where I now know what a good “just push through it” is and a bad “just push through it” is. (Just one more of the continual contradictions that living with RA has bought into my life.) At the moment I can’t necessarily explain it in any more detail…it’s just something that feel.

During the past few days, I (finally) put my digital srl camera into manual mode, and climbed onto the roof of the oldest church in town to take photos. I took my longest walk in over a year. I listened to live music one night, and another night I went to a party to celebrate the coldest night of the year. I spent more time in the kitchen cooking. I went to a breakfast with my former yoga classmates…and the list goes on.

At the same time, I continued to deal with the symptoms of my rheumatoid arthritis. Just last night, my wrists flared all night long, waking me up at 2am and keeping my up until 5am. I got used to putting on my ankle braces every day. I worked really hard on trying to establish a more regular eating schedule, in order to assist my stomach as it adjusts to the increased doses of my medicines…and the list goes on.

My life is no longer something hiding in the past or waiting in the future. Once again, it’s in the present…and I am loving it, rheumatoid arthritis and all.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

Resilience in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe. It also includes the ability to bounce back to homeostasis after a disruption. Thirdly, it can be used to indicate having an adaptive system that uses exposure to stress to provide resistance to future negative events.

Wikipedia: Psychological Resilience

I have a feeling at the moment, that if I could bottle it, would be more valuable than gold. Yes, the worst of the flare from the past month does seem to have passed…but it is by no means completely gone. Just this past weekend, after sharing that things were looking up, I was once again beaten up. (I’m not even exaggerating – I was down for the count, and the punches just continued to land…and land…and land.)

I’m not exactly sure what this feeling is, but I think it has something to do with learning how to pick myself back up, time after time. It comes with the realization that when it comes to rheumatoid arthritis, the stumbles that I encounter along my journey are both unpredictable and – to put it quite frankly – unexplainable. Most of all, it comes with the ultimate acceptance that these stumbles are not my fault.

With this understanding, I am able to focus all of my thoughts and energies on the most important thing when I find myself down in the dumps, which is to pick myself back up. I do this with the knowledge that I have absolutely no idea when I will fall again – it could be in an hour, it could be in a week. What I do know is that whenever it happens, I will be ready to pick myself back up. This counts for a lot.

I never though I would say such a thing, but here goes:

The next imminent flare, always lurking around the corner, no longer scares me.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

Finding peace and happiness despite the physical issues. Living with RA. Writing this blog. Ability to smile through it and enjoy the moments. Design. Living with RA all by myself. A woman learning to appreciate who she is, and much much more. Photography. Traveling the world. Ride off-road motorcycles. Living with RA-but not suffering from it. Putting a smile on people’s faces. Cooking. DRAMA MAMA. Approaching my health issues with a positive outlook. Enjoying one day at a time. Does not try to let RA stop her from joining in on everything that life throws at me. Informing the world of the wonders of homeschooling two children. Knowing what I can and can not do. More are added everyday as I realize what my mind and body are capable of! Organizing this league of superheroes. Fighting the evil forces of RA medication free. Trying to get my pre RA fitness back! Super Mom. Dealing with bent fingers. Running a home. Learning how to deal. I love my life, R.A. or not. I have a positive attitude & freely share it. Speaks Japanese. Baking cookies. Blogger wannabe. Making my life count for something more than RA, OA and being old. Staying chipper despite wanting to go back to bed. Super Daughter. Dispenser of ((((HUGS)))). Random thoughts. On this new quest to conquer RA. Supporting the work of contemporary artists in a capitalist world. Cheerleader. A wife (pretty amazing one too if you ask me). On a mission to control RA and not to let RA control me. Takes care of disabled husband. Tough broad that doesn’t let anything get her down! Baking. Loves to cook and to can Salsas. Encourager, cheerleader, shoulder to lean on for young people with arthritis and RA. Being a comic strip character. Writing a blog/column. Care, love & keep up with my husband who started this journey with me only a few months after we married. Stopping the painkillers before I get addicted. Mom of 2 (1 preteen boy and 1 teenage GIRL). Ability to always make my daughter laugh and smile despite what my body feels like. Nurse by profession, medical researcher by necessity. Counting my blessings and staying positive on this unexpected journey with many rocky roads and steep hills to climb. I can take super naps!! Recent subscriber of “Arthritis Today” which I thought was for “old” people. Super Hyper-Hyperactivity (can clean house, cook food, care for children all without succumbing to the dreaded Uber Fatigue). Writing a blog. We are survivors of many thing including ails and pains. Super Wife. ‘Multi media artist’ (ok, I have ADD…I do a little of this, a little of that…). Crafting. Mom to 2 grown boys and 3 felines. Staying Positive. Wonderful kids and grandkids! Blogging about the ups and downs of RA and alternative medicine among many other things. Good Listener. I live with and care for my autistic brother. Spreading the word about good blogs. Crochet. Independence is a state of mind, not a list of tasks to be completed. Being a dad of a 12, 6, and 5 y/o. I’m also glad to be an advocate and voice for people with invisible disease to people of my age group. Single mom of three superkids who manages to juggle soccer hockey baseball and golf schedules around flares, infusions and therapy. Wife of 26 years. More of my powers are realized each and every day. Super Strength (can amazingly hold 2 toddlers during a flare of Lupus and Fibro pain). Loving two puppies. Just trying to get my body back in fighting order so I can finish college. Supporting my 60 year old mum who has a brand new RA diagnosis. Continued service while working as a firefighter. Making it through each day with RA, Fibromyalgia, Grave’s Disease, and Sjogren’s syndrome while working full time. Loving life. It’s a challenge that is worth fighting! Gardener. Excellent wife and mom and learning to be an excellent nana. Student. Wife. Listener for the older crowd who have arthritis and RA. Writing. Always good for a few laughs. Losing weight, despite the Prednisolone. Knitting. Wife of 10 years (!). Spreading the word about my arch nemesis…the disease of Rheumatoid Arthritis! Raised a daughter. Living with RA and Fibro. I can make anyone laugh!! Cooks, cleans, shops, gardens, and is a freelance writer and editor. Patient. I love to sew and read books. CABG X6 survivor! Living a full, active, happy life with RA, scoliosis and cardiomyopathy. Lots of hugs to give. Swimmer (lapsed). Laughing at the absurd. Cheerleader. Mom to 2 dogs, 2 cats, an assorted bunch of fish and any stray that happens our way. Distraction. Mom of a fabulous daughter with Down Syndrome who will always live with me! Having a wonderful husband. Loves to explore new cities. Restoring order in the kingdom is the primary objective of my “job”– disabled stay at home mom/taxi driver…hehe. Knowledge is POWER! Traveler on the RA journey, meeting new superheroes every day. Husband of 40 years. Learning how to accept RA. Became Autoimmune Girl my freshman year of college and most recently leveled up to FM Girl. Wife to one full time construction worker/college student. Nurse (lapsed). Good mother. Musician. MOPS steering team. Concentrating on the many joys and blessings in my life. Have more hobbies than there are hours in the day. Taking care of our 5 pets and a husband! Good company. Mother of two grown children. Disabled nurse. Mother to my three boys. Balancing life after college, my new career, a boyfriend, friendships, and family – all while maintaining the millennial pace. Coupon shopping queen. Photography as a hobby & stress reliever. Dancer. Studying in the week. Managing pain through meditation. Open to trying every unconventional RA treatment under the sun. I work a 12 hour shift 4 days a week as a pressman (printing). Reffing roller derby when I can. 2 kiddies under 3 (who understand that sometimes Mumma can’t wrestle!) Working full time in sales & marketing. Running a home. I have a very large vegetable garden which brings me peace & self-worth. Work long hours in a warehouse pulling orders. Photography. Mother of three college age boys. I can read, write and speak Spanish. Owner of two titanium shoulders, with cadaver bone grafts, one fused wrist with metal rods, one foot with screws, the other foot-soon to be fused. Super Grandma. Homeschooling my kids. Daughter of Diabetes Gal and niece to her sister, RA/FM Gal. Accepting RA as a part of who I am. Workout 4 days a week. Supersonic hearing (Can hear any of her 3 children turn over in bed across a house). Care, love & keep up with my 2 Doberman Pinschers. Staying positive and happy is the best medicine! Working full-time as a nurse. I am a wanna be blogger and an ultimate crafter. Sabbath School teacher. Knitter. Being a good wife, friend and daughter! Working as much as I can. Mom of three boys. Living with RA. Cooking & baking. Being a PROUD military wife. Power four wheeler. Carrying on a semi-normal lifestyle while living with RA. Good enough mother and wife. Having a positive outlook on life. Multilingual. Good grandmother. Enjoy gardening, decorating and photography. Loving daughter. Working full time with children. Keeping my sidekick (hubby with fibro) on his toes. Mom to a 9 yr. old. Blogging. Momma to a wonderful furbaby. Living with ∞itis (RA, etc). Eternal student. Every superhero has a sidekick …right? My sidekick buddy that helps me is a Great Pyrenees with a mohawk named Frankie. Being a mom. Wonderful mom to 3 pom fur-kids. Take care of a 3.5 acre yard. Expert pinochle player. Great wife, mother, cook, clean, taxi driver, and fairy godmother. Keeping sane through a lot of uncertainty. Homeschool. Figuring which medical concoction works for now. Living with RA. Trying not to get fat. Gardening. Working full-time in the crazy hr/telecom world. Cat lover.  Camping. Kissing my lovely husband. Epidemiologist (lapsed). Worked full time as a journalist. Good cook. Going back to work in January…to be a great nurse again. Have a great sense of humor when it comes to most things. Working to support myself and being a student is hard but my will is strong. Mom of 8 great kids. Ability to make it through the tough times. Cooking. A-1 wife. Spent 20+ years as a nurse practitioner treating folks with R.A. Quilter. Regularly uprooting myself and moving around the world. I love to read, swim, cook, bake, and take care of my home. EFL Teacher (just started full-time work again after a couple of years off). Wife. Learning how to deal. RA advocate. Working 12 hour shifts in the ER on my feet for 13 hours. Worrying…lots of worrying.  Living with RA. Writing a blog. Living a God-centric lifestyle. Running a business from home. Great sense of humor. Continue the RA journey refusing to let it ruin my happy life. Licensed Ins Agent. Keeping track of 12 grandchildren. Working with service dog. Excellent wife. Blogging. Keeping sidekick (husband with heart problems and fibromyalgia) entertained. Disabled nurse. Mum to 3 year old girl and 8 month old boy. Living with RA away from home. Understanding kids. Making popcorn. Taking long drives with hubby. Fighting fatigue to keep going.  Refusing extra painkillers. Working my butt off and hopefully getting my phd. Dog walker (sometimes). Smiling in the face of adversity. Enjoying what I have. Taking care of family, husband and 2 daughters. Appreciates the gifts that the world offers each day to those who take the time to look. Trying to adjust to freelancing as a graphic designer and photographer. Working at Target. Running a small business full time. Educating people that disability is not something to be scared of! High tolerance toward pain. Mother of two active boys (10 & 8). Juggling a Uni degree with “aunty candi” duties and the prospect of joint replacement whilst keeping a smile on my face. Drawing. No human partner, but living with her 3 Superhero Cats (Spider, Lugosi & Ruby) who she finds tolerate her chronic illness so much better than any human that she has met. All sorts of needle-crafts. Getting up and going to work each day. Killing zombies. Loves music and photography. Living with (mild) RA. A law school graduate. Getting dressed, bathing and walking without assistance. My ability to mind surf as I can’t physically , YET. Being married. Embroidery. Toughing out life without medication so we can get preggers. Feeling pretty well and praying to stay that way. Full-time college student at a university. Photography. Educating people that not all people with Arthritis have Rheumatoid… ahem …anyways. Loving my husband. Pink Energy that allows me to go back to school. Work as a consultant. Continue walking on the beach. Spending quality time with my family. Using a supercool electric toothbrush, because a regular one hurts to hold. Positive Thinking. Feline & other animal communications. Works from home as a web & graphic designer. Defying stupid RA-beating suggestions from well-meaning friends with a single squawk. Surviving 2 hip replacements. Working full time. Into Goth/Metal/Rock music. Getting on with life. Painting. Sitting at home while my friends go out and party/shop/be normal, continue living my life when I just want to amputate my body from my head and put it on Jessica Alba’s body. Smiling through that Enbrel sting. Learning about myself through travel and introspection. Having a dead guy (cadaver bone) in my ‘boo boo’ arm. Would be <half> marathon walker. Hobby (and sometimes paid) photographer (has a couple of photography websites to show off her pictures). Living with RA. College Student. Fatigue fighting and staying healthy are two Superhero Powers that I need work on. Close relationships with several amazing doctors/friends! Writing my blog. Chilling with friends. Research, research and more research, saving the world one germ at a time (in the military). Employing Personal Assistants. Being just a little odd… being perpetually young at heart. Working as a waiter in the weekend with my colleague RA. Only taking otc drugs. Watcher of Star Trek, especially Voyager. Do talks about RA to medical students and generally try to raise awareness. Being married. Believing that I can. Making sure that everyone I know knows about RA and knows that WE can. Keeping weight on this body and running when my right foot will allow it! Mother of two gorgeous and brilliant children (boy – 13, girl – 12) and one 3 year old Yorkie who sits on my lap and comforts me on my bad days. Being. Abandoning walking stick…not knowing how long it’ll last.  Photography. Crochet. Working full time and being a waterman! Enjoying every single day as you never know what life will bring. Complete and utter geek lover of computers and video games. Working full time. Loving husband. Convincing NHS that I need anti-TNF therapy. Getting anti-TNF therapy and have it revolutionize my physical. I’m a teenager living life to the fullest; no matter what my disease sends my way. Artist and writer, even on days when my hands hurt almost too badly to pick up a pencil. Part-time feline management (three cats, one wonderful hubby who job-shares on the cat front). Living with RA (mild to moderate these days). Working for the Government. Cooking. Smiling, having fun and simply being fabulous…no matter what!! Big/little sister, and soon-to-be aunt. I’ve overcome my fear of needles with Enbrel. Raising awareness about all types of arthritis. Crafting. Being crazy I love to make folks laugh and smile as it’s a great medicine. Taking care of my family. Teaching. Having a bionic knee, hip, screws in feet, waiting on new shoulders and knuckles. Being a mom. Being a scientist. My cat Rosie. Start dancing again. Pouring from a gallon of milk, by using the edge of a table or countertop. Great sense of humour. Fighting fatigue. Getting out of bed in the AM. Taking one day at a time.

Do you want to add your own superhero powers to this list? You can do so by adding your name to the Superhero Wall Of Fame!

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

But this Monday, today, was actually a great one. The sun is back out, and the absolute worst of this current flare seems to have passed. (I’m still in it, but moving in the right direction.) I am well rested from this past weekend. I lectured for two hours this morning, and am now at home preparing for a private class that starts in the coming hour.

I wore my Nikes to school again – I put them on this morning without one bit of hesitation. I downgraded from my crutches to my cane and a pair of (titanium!) ankle protectors. My crutches are never far away, though, and will come back out of the corner as soon as I need them.

Going back to work and returning to a normal routine can sometimes be boring. Sometimes, it can be a downright pain in the butt. Today, however, it was one of the greatest things in the world.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

Pain levels. Thinking about this topic immediately raises questions of subjectivity. How can we know if your pain is worse than my pain? Or if we want to keep it personal, how can I know that the pain I experienced yesterday was worse than the pain I experienced today, when throughout both days all of my major joints were semi-numb from the constant pain and inflammation? And while each new flare feels like “the worst pain ever”, is there actually a way to quantify such a statement?

I do have one objective measurement of my pain, though, which I have used continually for over the past year: the electrotherapy treatments that I receive while at physical therapy. (I don’t know how scientific this is, but a quick search on “objective measurements of pain” did return quite a few references to electrostimulation and electrotherapy.)

Here is the chart that I have created, based upon the level of the first (of many) analgesic/anti-inflammatory currents that is delivered to my knees and ankles during these sessions:

• 3: It hurts.
• 7: It hurts a lot.
• 10: It hurts a heck of a lot. This also corresponds to the highest level of current that can be applied…I can go beyond this level if necessary, but only for extremely short periods of time.
• 12: The worst pain ever. Over the past year, I have reached this level only a handful of times.

This past Thursday, however, I had to make a modification to the last entry on this chart…the one that corresponds with “the worst pain ever”.

When the current reached 12 and I couldn’t feel a thing, I was convinced that the machine was not turned on or that the electrodes were not plugged in correctly. I’ve said this before to other therapists, innocently enough, only to see them jump up pain after they have carefully laid their fingers on the electrodes to see if they are working…only to find out that they are! My current physical therapist know better by now, so she continued to slightly increase the level of current that was being administered.

14…Nothing. 16…I can’t feel a thing. 18…Still can’t feel it. Nanny nanny boo boo.

And then, finally, I felt sometimg. We had reached 19.

Was this indeed “the worst pain ever”? (According to the machine, it was.) The thought of “How am I even still walking around?” no longer seemed like a strange question to ask. I could see my physical therapist’s face, and I could tell that she was really concerned…even though she didn’t say a word.

I’d love to say that my feet and ankles improved greatly on that day…but they didn’t. These levels of pain continued on through Friday. But I do have some good news. Yesterday, I went back to physical therapy, and my levels were back down to an 8. Phew!

That’s right between “It hurts a lot” and “It hurts a heck of a lot”. (And I’m acting relieved???)

This drop over the past three days, from 19 to 8, comes out to a 58% reduction in pain! I may not be out of the woods yet, but I have no doubt that I will be there soon.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!