The Blame Game

RA Guy Adventures of RA Guy 6 Comments

Yesterday morning, Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy sat in the bath tub and waited and waited for the water level to rise. (I haven’t taken a shower in years, as I find it so much easier to sit instead of stand.) I couldn’t figure out why the water level was not increasing, as I had already been there for quite a few minutes.

It then dawned on me – I had not placed the plug into the bath tub drain. So simple, I know, but on days when I wake up in pain these little actions that we perform during the day, often without thinking, are often the ones that I overlook the most.

A few minutes later, I was taking my usual bath. I used to kick myself over these “silly” mistakes – how could I possibly do that? Not anymore, though. When I discover that I have overlooked something, I simply work to correct it, without entering into the blame game.

If there is one thing that I have learned while living with arthritis, it has been to be very cautious when it comes to the topic of blame. So often I want to place the blame somewhere for my chronic disease – for all of those times I wake up in excruciating pain, and don’t even get a “breather” before I start my day.

Sometimes, this blame exhibits itself in the wrong way. I snap at those around me. I am in a bad mood. I know this is not an excuse, but I really cannot help it at times. Recently, I have started asked for some space when I wake up and it’s obvious I am in a foul mood. I know that within half an hour I will get over it…but during those thirty minutes I have a hard time not getting angry at the most trivial things.

So I’ll continue to try to think less about “blame”, and think more about how me and those around me can continue to get through the daily challenges that rheumatoid arthritis brings into our lives.

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

Comments 6

  1. Lana

    I love the blame game. It is fun to play with someone else as well. 🙂 Kidding. Yea, I know what you mean. I have those days.

    “I’ll continue to try to think less about “blame”, and think more about how me and those around me can continue to get through the daily challenges that rheumatoid arthritis brings into our lives.” Sometimes I have to remind myself too.

    Thanks for the shout out yesterday.

  2. Helen

    I have the a.m. grouchies, too. Especially now that winter is here and it’s soooo cold in the morning.

    Great post. I’m really hard on myself sometimes when there are things I can’t do, or can’t do properly, because of my RA.

  3. kate

    your post makes me feel better about myself! I need my own space in the mornings to see and feel where my RA is at today, which joint is going to need some TLC, and which I can depend on for the day. my family has nicknamed me “little ray of Hell!” instead of “little ray of sunshine.” Because of the way I sometimes act :/ I’ve gotten better and they have become more understanding. Great post!

  4. Post

    Thanks for the lighter look at what we with RA go through on a daily basis. It’s 2 degrees here, my bones hurt and I’m crabby, but your post made me smile. 🙂

  5. Kali

    I am cursed with one hell of a temper and blessed with a boyfriend who doesn’t take heed of it too often. I snap at him far more often than he deserves, but he’s gotten pretty good at figuring out when I’m just going off and just…letting me snarl myself out without absorbing it.

    The whole morning grouchies thing reminded me of a kind of funny story…

    My boyfriend gets me up most mornings, because I’ve developed the ability to turn off the alarm without waking up. This one morning, he came in to get me up, and I’d slept unbelievably badly the night before. So he went through a bunch of different things to wake me up, settling with tapping lightly on my face, something that is annoying enough that it’s virtually guaranteed to get me up.

    I kept making rather feeble motions towards getting up and saying ‘I’m sorry.’ Apparently I was apologizing for whatever the hell I’d done to get him to annoy me like that, in the hopes that he’d stop, because at one point I said I was sorry for whatever I had done to annoy him like that.

    Anyhow, this kept up and I grabbed my pillow and whacked him in the face, quite hard. He kept after me, and I whacked him again and again, until he took the pillow away.

    Then he stormed out, as he’d had it. He came back about 5 minutes later, and I was asleep again.

    He woke me up, rather easily this time. I had no memory of what’d happened before, so I rather groggily asked him where my pillow went.

    He got the strangest look on his face…

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