I’m feeling pretty good right now. Which if you has asked me 48 hour ago, this would have been the last thing that I would have thought I’d be saying right about now.
But I’ve had a really good day and a half…sure, my symptoms have shown a slight decrease during this short time period, but any objective measurement would indicate that they are still operating at pretty severe levels, so much so that at the moment I have little to no use of my left ankle…and my left knee isn’t too far behind.
You know how sometimes you’re in a space that’s really really hot, and then out of nowhere a slight draft of cold air brushes against part of your body, and all of a sudden you’re completely cold? I sort of had a similar experience yesterday, except this time it wasn’t associated with hot/cold. My body was absolutely enveloped in pain, but out of I-don’t-know-where, I felt a sensation of well-being coming my way. I decided to tap into this sensation. I’m glad I did, because to this moment it continues to grow strong.
And instead of concerning myself about how long this will last, I’ve just decided to enjoy each and every second of it.
Last week, a new thought crossed my mind. I started to think about how much time, effort, and money I dedicate towards trying to reduce or eliminate my pain and inflammation, and the frustration that naturally presents itself when such result are not achieved. So I began to wonder, is all of this time, effort, and money not best spent on learning how to better incorporate this pain and inflammation into my life? I mean, they’ve been a constant presence in my world for almost a decade now, and experience has shown me that they only become stronger the more I fight against them.
So a few days ago, I decided to do a complete 180° turn when it comes to coping with my rheumatoid arthritis.
I’m welcoming the pain and inflammation. I’m respecting my new physical limitations. When the pain is worse than I can ever imagine, when it feels like a heavy blanket that is smothering me, I am reaching out and connecting with it. I no longer see my disabilities as roadblocks, but as opportunities which allow me to get to know myself even better. I no longer see my pain as something to get rid of, instead I see it as something to get used to. And at any given moment, I only allow myself to focus on what I can do, even during those moments when I am not able to move any part of my body.
Already, this new approach is showing positive results.
Like I said, I’m feeling pretty good right now…and I’m not going to let any amount of pain, inflammation, or disability take this feeling away from me.
Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!