A couple of weeks ago someone asked me how I cope with the financial concerns that often result from living with rheumatoid arthritis. From reading my blog, she had (correctly) determined that I currently do not have a full time job. This is my answer.
Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy has always had the habit of looking back a year.
It’s not something I do every day, nor is it something that results in me getting stuck in the past. Instead, it’s just a personal game that I have always played.
The rules of my game are simple. I try to think back and remember what I was doing approximately a year earlier. I can’t look at any old calendars nor can I refer to any archived emails to try to refresh my memory.
But I just decided to twist things up a bit.
Last night, as I was at my physical therapy session, I snuck a peak at the display on the machine that I was wired up to. I have always heard the long series of beeps as the physical therapist programs the device, along with references to upper and lower frequencies. 40-80. 90-10. Take your pick. I was fascinated with the fact that this therapy simultaneously delivers upper and lower frequencies, as opposed to one constant frequency I received years ago when my treatment used standard TENS machines.
So, I thought it might be fun to expand the upper and lower limits of the time span that I look back upon. If there’s anything that I have learned recently through living with rheumatoid arthritis, it has been to not only accept change but to have fun with it. So, instead of one year, I ended up with a time frame of one decade and of one month.
Ten years ago to the week I walked across the stage at Harvard and received my masters degree in architecture. (This anniversary would have passed completely unnoticed had I not altered the rules of my game.) What a huge turning point of my life this time was! After eight years of college, I was finally heading into the working world, armed with my double Ivy League degrees. (My bachelors degree in architecture was from Columbia – what a blast it was to be an architecture student in New York City!)
I was full of hope, somewhat naive (okay, very naive!) when it came to internal office politics that would soon become a part of my corporate life, and definitely still unaware that my monthly student loan payment would soon be equivalent to a comfortable mortgage payment in many parts of the country.
I left the cold winters of the northeast for the cold summers of (foggy!) San Francisco. My career immediately turned into a dual track which included traditional architecture and user experience design/information architecture. Living in the heart of the internet and software boom, I thought it would be fun to overlay the physical design principles I had learned in architecture school onto the virtual design principles of the emerging field of web interface design.
Right around this time I started experiencing slight pain in my knees and feet. I just assumed that this was the normal aging process, and started taking supplements like glucosamine-chondroitin. I went to the doctors office a few times for x-rays, but they never showed anything conclusive.
Fast forward nine years and eleven months, and I find myself at the start of May 2009. I had just passed through the worst flare of my life – the exact days will stay etched in my mind for a long time to come. May 1 – May 3. My entire world shrunk down to periods where I took things minute by minute – literally. Everything that I had previously loved was pushed aside in a heartbeat.
As I rode out (and continue to ride out) this recession, I was actually grateful that I was forced to drop my financial worries and instead spend all of my time and energy prioritizing my health care. All of my medical visits (rheumatologist, psychologist, physical therapist, acupuncturist, etc.) became my full time job – literally. Last week alone added up to forty hours. Although, instead of money coming in – it ended up flying out faster than ever before. (I guess it would be too much to ask that my unpaid internship at Rheumatoid Inc. also provide health benefits?)
The results of my efforts of the past month are already paying off in ways that a salary never could. The lab results I took to my rheumatologist yesterday show improvement. Looking at my rheumatoid arthritis overall, it has gotten much better. I still continue to have “mini” flares about every ten days, but the severity baseline is trending down. (While these flares that I refer to are no way “mini” in regards to the actual pain and inflammation, they are no longer the life-altering events that they used to be just a month ago.)
I even got a bonus! I was able to use the presence of rheumatoid arthritis in my life as a portal to get back into the world of art and design that I love. (I’ve even started to enjoy the art of writing, something that I have never really done before. As a designer in multiple fields, my work has always focused on drawing.)
My health will always come first. But, I now know that there is no need to push aside everything that I have enjoyed doing in the past ten years. I need not wait for another consulting engagement to appear, nor I need wait until my rheumatoid arthritis comes fully under control. I can go back to doing those things now, and I can do them on an even more personal level.
And as my health and happiness continue to fall back into balance, I have no doubt that improvements to my financial life will soon follow.
Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!