Waking up in pain. Going to bed in pain. Never knowing if tomorrow’s going to be the day it comes back with such force that your life is shattered, sidelined again while you put everything on hold, while you find a treatment that works. Hoping you’ll find a treatment that works, having waking nightmares in which you don’t. No longer remembering the time Before, back when your body was your own. Fighting, always fighting, to live, to get better, to not lose function, to find hope, somehow. Living with rheumatoid arthritis is living with a relentless assault, not just on your body, but on your mind, as well. Sometimes, your biggest challenge is to not give in, to stay focused, to stay sane.