Tricking My Mind
Pain has a tendency to want to mess with our minds.
It chips away at reluctant hosts with thoughts of weakness and worthlessness, and tries its darndest to make people believe that life sucks.
In it’s most ruthless state, pain creates fear. LOTS of fear. It scares individuals into stopping the things that they love doing the most. It lulls them with false promises as it whispers into their thoughts: if you stop doing the things that make you happy, the things that you love the most, I *will* go away.
Trust me.
The thing is, when pain starts talking this way, it is not to be trusted.
Throughout my more than ten years of living with rheumatoid arthritis, I fell multiple times for these false promises that the pain so often presented in an attractive light. Each time I cast aside the things that bought me joy with each new day, all in the hope that doing so might be *the* thing that would finally make the pain go away, I found myself in a place where I only hurt worse.
I found myself in a dark, scary spot that is unimaginable to many, but which–sadly enough–is all too familiar to many of us who live with chronic pain.
A couple of years ago, after years and years of trying anything/everything to make the pain go away, I decided that I would start tricking my mind.
Instead of telling myself that life sucked, I started telling myself that life was beautiful…just the way it was.
Instead of telling myself that the pain HAD to go away, I started telling myself that everything would be okay…even if (and when) the pain continued.
Instead of telling myself that I was weak, I started telling myself that I was strong.
Instead of telling myself that I was sick, I started telling myself that I was healthy.
Instead of telling myself that I could no longer do x and y, I started–immediately–figuring out just exactly how I *would* do x and y.
And instead of telling myself that feeling scared was a normal response to each new day, I started telling myself that fear had no place in my life.
When I started rewiring my thoughts–or, as I referred to it, “tricking my mind”–I couldn’t help but ask myself (and others who were close to me): am I just fooling myself? Am I just leading myself down a path of denial and unfounded optimism; won’t I just end up in another dark spot, as I have so many time before?
No, you’re not fooling yourself, they told me. You’re doing what you need to do to survive.
Having followed this new path for much of the past couple of years, I’ve discovered a place that is brighter than anything I have known before, either with our without the constant pain.
I find myself in a place where the pain–the very thing that used to hold me back–now motivates me to go out and live life to its fullest, each and every day.
And I’ve come to realize that what I was doing all along wasn’t tricking my mind.
I was tricking the pain.
Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!
you put this across so clearly, and it resonates around me and within me, we deliver self management sessions to people with long term conditions including rheumatoid arthritis, one of our modules entitled understanding pain and other symptoms aim to convey this very message, thank you for your enlightenmet
What a beautiful way to put it!! I have been on both sides in my 35 years+ with chronic pain. The Times that I have let pain get the best of me are some of the darkest times of my life, even suicidal.
But for the majority I have tricked my mind, not just to survive, but to live a pretty amazing life full of love and great happiness in spite of it all!!
thank you so much for sharing this and everything else. I am in a dark place at times because of the thinking you talked about. My pain tells me all kinds of negative things and it affects my emotional state tremendously. I have been fighting the depression daily and sometimes minute by minute. It wins sometimes, and sometimes I do. I struggle a lot and no one knows how very sad I get deep within my self. I hope that I can do just half as good as you. It helps me very much to see what you have done and how you handle things. Thank you my friend, and Happy New Year. Namaste. HUG
Hi, RA Guy. Your post brilliantly illustrates the truth of the statement that you can’t control events but you do have control over your reaction to them. Unfortunately pain — often chronic and cruelly debilitating — is a part of RA. As you point out, how we mentally deal with that reality is a key component of living with the disease.
Wishing you an amazing 2015!
Our mind and body are connected , a Favorite affirmation-” everything I need will come to me”- Louise Hay several deep breaths help me too
Ty… Sitting in my car taking a break from work as my head is full with the fear u describe and I am a newbie diagnosis but have had this for so long I thiugt it was how all people lived…have always been a positivist! But now firmly diagnosed I feel that positivity waning… Ty for the uplifting poat