I think that something exists out there that embraces the best of both – accepting the reality of the illness while still hoping and working towards a possible future without it, or at least with a lasting remission. I have no idea how to get to it. I know that it’s not much fun for me, going from denial to anger to bargaining to depression and back again. I’m clear on the fact that it’s not healthy for me to chase pipe-dream “cures”. I know that whenever there’s a med change and I tell myself, “This time it’s really going to work for good,” the disappointment is sharper when it doesn’t. I also know, though, that positive thinking is good.