Is Somnacontortion A Word?

contortion-2-resizedSomnambulance. Some people walk in their sleep. Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy has never had this problem, although it seems like he’s started doing something else in his sleep for which there is still no name. I’ve started acting like a contortionist while I sleep. When I wake up, the first thought on my mind is often “What pretzel have you wrapped yourself up in now?”

Of course, it is my rheumatoid arthritis that is twisting me into these fun shapes. It seems to be having a lot of fun on my hands and feet. I continue to learn just how many different directions a group of five fingers can point in. My wrists continue to sound like crunchy cellophane in the morning. Really thick crunchy cellophane.

(Speaking of pretzels, does anyone remember those large shopping mall pretzels that were both illuminated and warmed up with a huge heating light? Some of them had rock crystals so large that if they were slightly polished, they could be mounted on a ring. What was up with that? And while I am at the mall, I can’t forget those horrible outfits that the people who worked at Hot Dog on a Stick had to wear.)

So I guess it’s time to once again take out my lovely forearm wrist braces, that actually prevent a lot of this twisting and turning that takes place during the night. I also have a pair of ulnar deviation gloves. (That’s a mouthful.) They have a strap that wraps around each individual finger. They do a really good job…sometimes so much so that I can only wear them for an hour. You see, when my hands are pulled back into their “correct” position, they are no longer in their “natural” position…and that can really hurt.

Now if I could only do a one-armed handstand!

Stay tuned…for the next adventure of Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy!

5 Comments
5 comments
  1. Millicent says:

    Yes–I remember those mall pretzels. Yikes–scary to think about that! We have about 6 inches of snow—so far. Tomorrow should be a good day to make a snowman & drink hot chocolate. It’s still blowing & snowing today.

  2. Laurie says:

    When my kids were in highschool band, they earned trip money with the band staffing the Orlando Arena concession stands with the band parents supervising (and doing beer duty) We had to salt those darn pretzels before every event….a secret…if you ordered one with light salt…we took one from the back bin and brushed half the salt of. Of course that didn’t make it any less salty, since the pretzels were sparyed with water before salting so the salt would stick!
    No snowmen here today..pouring rain instead.

  3. Wren says:

    Those mall pretzels were sinfully good, as I recall. Soft, warm, salty. I had to wash mine down with an Orange Julius. Of course, this was in the Olden Days. I would never eat or drink such horrible things today… ;o)

    RA Guy, I do so feel for you and those pretzel-like hands. Mine hurt and ache, but they don’t do contortions during the night. Does soaking them in very, very hot water help with the pain and stiffness? Sometimes I do my dishes by hand JUST so I can plunge my hands into the hot water. We have a very nice, efficient dishwasher, so my family thinks I’m nuts …

    Hope you’ll be feeling much better as the weekend progresses. Also, I’m wondering if you’ve learned anymore about the blurred vision episodes? You’ve been on my mind. Take care, okay?

  4. RA Guy says:

    Wren, I’ve had only one minor episode of blurred vision, but nothing like the first two. I was supposed to get my eyes dilated this past week, but had to reschedule to this coming week. Thanks for asking, I’ll be sure to keep you posted!

  5. Terry says:

    The last 2-3 weeks I have woke up twisted around and hurting. Fortunately the hot tub is just 2 steps out the french doors of our bedroom. 20 minutes in 105 degree water changes your whole outlook on the morning.

    I love the mall pretzel’s, I allow myself one every 6-8 months. Take care of your hands, I hope this passes soon.

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