I don’t think I’ve ever elevated a comment to post-of-its-own status, but one of the comments on my previous post references a subject that deserves coverage:
We seem to be in the same boat of pain right now. I cried all the way in to work today and I’ve cried all morning long. I hate the painkillers because they make me too sleepy to work, but I hate the pain. The Humira doesn’t last long enough. The steroid shots don’t work the way they’re supposed to, and the prednisone isn’t doing the trick. The mtx is just there.
Sometimes I just want to die and get it over with. Of course, I’d never do anything to make that happen, but if I keel over one day I will for sure have a DNR in place. This is hell on earth.
This is something that isn’t talked about as much as it should be. Being sick isn’t for sissies.
Lately there has been a focus on suicide in the realm of chronic illness, including a particularly relevant post by Itis. My gut wrenches for the pain of others considering suicide as an alternative for whatever they are suffering from. I found a blog post by a featured writer on Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy’s website last week. It was a blatant cry for help; it mentioned taking their own life. I promptly wrote an email to the person that has gone unanswered. I also c:c’d RA Guy on that email to make him aware, as I had referred this person who reached out for help to a recent post RA Guy shared, about his own struggle with contemplating suicide. In the email, I shared some additional information and my own words of encouragement. My prayers were answered when RA Guy intuitively responded – as I knew he would – by getting the word out to his well-visited networks, discreetly and appropriately that a member of the RA community needed our help. So very many rallied to aid and offer care. I wonder how this person is doing, and if the love and care reached as intended.
If you are depressed or if you are contemplating suicide, please reach out for help. Speak with a friend. Speak with a family member. Speak with a suicide support line. Speak with a doctor. Speak with a therapist. Speak with a psychologist. Speak with someone online. Don’t feel ashamed, and please know that things can and do get better.
Most importantly, don’t lose hope. Don’t ever lose hope!