Getting Closer To Myself: Does This Chronic Illness Stuff Ever Stop Feeling New?

“I’ve been at this for four years now.  But I don’t feel very practiced.  I feel kind of, well, not numb.  The opposite of numb?  Like I’m wading in quicksand?

To be honest, I don’t know how I feel right now.  But I wonder if this ever gets easier, ever gets less pressing.

I’ve been wondering lately if I’ll ever get ahead of my illnesses, if someday, I won’t feel quite so much like a sick person.

But it also worries me.  What happens when I get used to this?  What happens when things no longer rock my world off its axis?  What happens when abnormal tests, abnormal blood work, abnormal everything, becomes the rule rather than the exception?  Am I there yet?  Am I already there?”

Read More: http://gettingclosertomyself.blogspot.com/2012/05/does-this-chronic-illness-stuff-ever.html

2 Comments
2 comments
  1. Linda P. says:

    Great post. I don’t have any answers, being newer at this task than you are. I’m still not certain when I’m just having a flare in the midst of a mostly working medication regime or seeing my medications become less effective.

  2. Carol says:

    Unless a remission is in your future, acceptance is an important tool. I was diagnosed in 1995 with RA, and I have experienced every range of emotion with this disease. Some days are easier than other days, but my disease has not gone into remission, so I keep plodding along, often denying the fact that I have this stuff. I am able to get out and about; however, some days I have to wait for another person to press the elevator button to get it to move. Today is not such a good day, mostly mentally. Tomorrow will be better.

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